to live...and then to remember

myspace post

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 12:48:34 -0500

so i was looking through my old myspace writings and found something awesome that i totally forgot about. just wanted to share some good storys about our savior.

Ok, I was at church today and heard a really good story from the pastor. It made me think about it alot, on how true it is in our world today, how we need to fix this.

The story is this; (I will try to translate as best as I can)

There was a man walking around and he noticed a group of homeless kids running around. They were dirty, had ripped clothes, their hair was messy, and they lived a miserable life.

So the man sat down on a bench with another man looking at the kids. Then he spoke to the other man. “If God exists, then why is he giving these kids this miserable life? Why is he being so cruel?”

The other man answered, “If you think that these kids have a miserable life, then why dont you go to them and take care of them, clothe them, feed them, be kind to them.”

The man answered, “Even if I go to them and offer them my help, they would probably just ignore me, not even listen to me because I am a stranger to them.”

So the other man said, “You see, that’s how God sees the people on earth. God sees how miserable a man’s life is without him, so he tries to help them, make their lives happy with the love that he can give to them. But the people just ignore him, they don’t listen to him because they do not know him, and take him as a stranger.”

So the man thought to himself and the man’s words were true to him. So he went on living his life with God’s help and His love. :)

friendship, transition

Sat, 03 Nov 2012 05:40:27 -0400

well it finally happened, i moved away from my home away from home back to home. now that im in ukraine i felt like i could sit down and gather my thoughts and try to write down what ive felt for the past few days being in greenville and also flying out here.

if anything, in the past 3 days in greenville, it was like opposites came together, like hot and cold, good and bad, up and down, and happy and sad. some of the best moments and some of the saddest. as college students living in campus and hanging out with random friends from college, i guess i never really had a chance to see how much ive meant to some of my friends. day goes by, and we just take whoever we see during that day for granted and never really take our time to tell them how much we appreciate them being in our lives. even if its a small presence in your life, it still matters and i think its always a good idea to be thankful and also show that gratitude once in a while. and thats exactly what i feel like happened to me, in these past 3 days, because i was leaving, many of my friends showed me and reminded me how much, i guess, i meant to them. i felt like i always went out of my way to show that i care about someone, and how reaping the rewards felt nice. i guess i never really saw how much everyone cared, i just got so used to the flow of things where we just casually acknowledge our existence and once in a while have a good time but never really say “i appreciate you for being in my life” type of statements.

the sheer amount of quick hangouts ive had with many of my friends in the past 3 days is ridiculous, and i guess since everyone made time to hangout with me, to me that showed me how much they cared, im sure theyre all busy with their lives of school and etc, but to take some time out of their day to come have a little hangout with me in the union or something meant so much for me that i cant really put how much i appreciate those who did. as positive as i am for always thinking that i got people who care for me, its such an amazing feeling to see for a fact that they do care that it just blows my mind and makes me humbled to think that all these great people are my friends.

one thing that really stood out to me was how some of my closest friends planned to throw me a surprise party the day before i left. it was so crazy! i went to the school’s play preview that i was invited to by brittain, it was really awesome to see my theatre workshops job in the final result and all the hard work that the actors/actresses put in to have a great show. then after that me, brittain, and taylor went to mannoia and i was kind of surprised that halloween decorations were up already. but as soon as we walked in, it turned out that a bunch of my friends had the whole thing planned that i go to the preview showing so that they had time to decorate. there was cake that was made by annie, gift from the girls, bunch of great decorations, and tons of people i love. they even had me hit the pinyata outside, but i accidentally broke gandalf (annies stick). oops, but it was really fun, and i just cant put it in words how much that meant to me. i felt like i was up in the clouds but also i felt like i wanted to cry from all the emotions swelling up inside of me. these people are what makes any persons college experience great. great friends equal great life anywhere. i literally felt like that was a perfect night, great friends, great mood, great food, and a laker season opening game!

on the last day, it was probably the hardest day to go through. i had more last minute hangouts with some friends and i just felt the love and support from everybody, which felt good, but just still sad because of my situation. me and ryan went on a walk around campus and were at ganton circle when class got out and we probably stood there for at least an hour saying goodbye to people. it was crazy, i felt so bad because i couldnt give anyone my full attention and i felt like i had to move through one person to the next without really saying an honest goodbye. but im sure they all understand and if anything theres always going to be facebook and skype where we could stay in touch. it was so hard in general to say goodbye, especially with my closest college friends…they mean so much to me, theyve helped me grow and have given me tons of good memories that i will never forget. then sethy along with ryan lindsay, and jon, took me to the airport and o man was that hard to say goodbye.

i feel like me and my emotions definitely had our quality time together for the first time in a while. i never felt ive lost so much in such a short time. its like my life force was taken from me because my friends supply me with it. but even if i lost a lot, i know i cant keep my head down, so i will do my best to stay on the positive side and do well here before i can go back and reunite with my friends in america. until then, i just gotta push through and trust in God to make my life in ukraine just as good as it was in greenville. (even though im sure it will never be just as good) haha.

last 2 weeks, leaving

Wed, 24 Oct 2012 11:13:23 -0400

so this is something new, just when i thought everything was working out with my school, things took a bad turn and i now need to leave school because of financial issues where i cant pay off my school tuition to stay here and graduate. it really sucks and sucks because out of all my years in greenville it couldnt have picked the wrongest year. things were going too smoothly, i loved my friends, both new and old, and that equaled into me loving school academically. i was doing really well in classes, and just had a positive attitude towards all of my classes until this happened which i just cant explain how disappointing that is. so for the past 2 weeks ive been meeting up with random friends of mine in greenville and saying my goodbyes and boy it sure was no fun hanging out with my friends like that! i mean i loved being able to see them again after not seeing them or hanging out with them for a while but still, just knowing the purpose for our hangout really sucked! i wish i was still in school and was just hanging out with them for fun.

i try to have a positive attitude towards it, i mean i know for a fact that this is just God closing another door in my life to open a better one, but obviously as humans we have the hardest time dealing with our current door being closed until we clearly see what the next door that opens is. so im going through that right now and its hard even know i know its going to get better hopefully. i just hate leaving people i love behind and i just wish i can take all my friends everywhere i go. but i guess its technically easy to stay in touch with all of our modern ways of communication but still.

tonight, carl is coming over to visit me before i leave, i cant wait! its been too long since ive seen him. im so freaking excited! but like i said, it sucks why he has to come see me. but ill try to make the best of it and have a good old time with a good old friend.

sometimes i want to just go crazy and revert to my old ways even though i know its not something i should be doing but i guess during stressful times those feelings come out of me sometimes. ive always managed to hold them back but its hard around this time. knowing that im leaving everything i knew for the past 4 years is definitely not going to be easy.

i hope to come back next fall to finish out my year here and finally graduate, because currently thats the best case scenario for me. unless God reveals something even better, ive got to stick with this plan for now. and i hope God amazes me again with this plan for me. now i just got to have a good week this week and make the best with what little time i have here. At least one thing to look forward to is going to six flags this weekend!

the downs and the ups-so far

Sun, 07 Oct 2012 21:40:25 -0400

another long time since ive written anything on tumblr, but hey lifes been going pretty fast in the past 3 weeks.

school has been rather stressful because of the looming tuition bill hanging over my head. and it actually got to the point where i had to leave my dormroom for a few days until i could pay off my tuition. it really sucked but i knew that God had a plan prepared for me during these toublesome times. thanks so all the prayers from people my family managed to gather enough money to pay off this months tuition. thank God for that! im really happy that i can do everything as it was now, even though next months tuition is also coming up. right now im just waiting for the money to transfer over so i can pay it. it really is tough being an international student who’s a missionary kid with no money. i mean its really frustrating that because i can speak english, people in charge here get the false illusion that im american and have it equally as any other student here. no thats not true and i have it a lot harder than 99% of students here. its aint easy to pay off tuition out of pocket. but im glad that God is watching over me and taking care of my needs so far.

even though i technically couldnt attent my classes, in order to not fall too far behind i asked my professors if i can still attend as a visitor and most of them allowed me to do so. it was nice, considering ive already missed a big presentation and a test. not good. but i hope i can bounce back to good form that i was on before all this craziness. i still like all my classes and making some new friends in all of them is always a joy of mine, gotta love making new friends and getting to know all the interesting things about them!

my pod mates have been really helpful during this whole process, taking care of me and just being themselves which always is a boost of energy for me. im glad i live with them this year or else it might have been worse. and the awesome friends that i have in this college who i feel the support during times of ehhhh-ness.

some cool things that weve done so far was just having some good movie nights, good talk nights, hangout at the huddle house, ping nights, and city museum which was really fun like last year. i hope during all of my troubles that these fun events continue because thats what makes all of this bearable and stressless!

first week of school 2012

Sun, 09 Sep 2012 17:07:20 -0400

man so the first week of school was great! even though i still have some financial stuff to take care of, i think that overall everything was going pretty good. my pod first and foremost is amazing, full of guys that i love and have fun with. my classes are (can you believe it?) all amazing! ive never had a semester where i literally liked all my classes. thats crazy for me! mixed with both interest in the subject of the class and also the people who are in it. its great! my job is going well, even though i almost got fired because of a small misunderstanding ha ha, its all good now. the new union is amazing and im glad i get to work there again with new workers and new things to play with! i already met some cool new people and so far seeing how everything is going great, i cannot wait for what God has in store for me this year, whether its good or bad, im sure its gonna be something good in the end! peace!

back in gc for year 2012-2013

Sun, 26 Aug 2012 03:17:37 -0400

so summer has been crazy, fun, and stressful, but hey im back in gc and things feel pretty good. like i felt earlier, i have this random gut feeling that this year will be awesome for some reason. i have absolutely no idea why but i just do. feels somehow better than the last. probably the main reason being that im going to live with some of my closest college friends instead of like my other years where i lived with random new people because i wanted to get to know someone new. the energy and time i used to get to know them well will be spent on more school work this year. hopefully i could do better that way in school.

being back for a few days now in gc was pretty good. got to meet two new international students, a guy from japan and a guy from hong kong. the guy from hong kong already went to high school in america for 2 years so his english was pretty decent. they seem like cool kids to get to know so i was excited. im pretty sure theyll adjust well in the gc life and have a good first year. and the last years chinese students came back as freshman this year and are excited to start their first official year in gc.

moving back in the room was kool, im really looking forward to see what the final product of our room will look like because me and ryan want to do this “zen garden” theme to our room. get a bunch of asian type of things to decorate our room. i cant wait to see it all fall in place. and how our pod lounge in going to look like after we bring in all the furniture for it. should be a pretty sweet pod in general. great guys and great living area, cant wait!

driver's license!

Fri, 03 Aug 2012 16:30:32 -0400

so its been about a week and a half since i passed my driver’s test and received my driver’s license. and i can tell you that it feels like one of my best achievements ever! it feels so weird but so great to be the one driving now. after 23 years of being on the passenger seat, to be the one driving, in control, and the freedom of mobility that comes with it. i think i was always jealous of my friends who all had their licenses as soon as they were allowed to at the age of 18. they seemed to know a whole new big thing about life than i did. but now that im in the same position as them it feels absolutely amazing!

it was pretty fun trying to learn driving with my uncle who was teaching me the course of the behind the wheel test. even though every instructor had a different course that they test you on, it was still nice going through some of them to get me used to it. during that time, since i only had my permit, i felt like there was this pressure over my head where i felt like i couldnt do anything crazy like a typical habit when it comes to driving that almost every driver has. i had to be the perfect, by the rules, no mistakes type of driver and it was such a pressure factor when it came to my driving practices while i only had my permit. then on the day of the test, thank God that i had a really nice instructor lady get into my car. i made 3 small mistakes throughout the whole test out of 15 that you can make before she can just fail you. so that was pretty good. although i made 1 (what i thought) a big mistake which she could just fail me automatically but i guess it counted as a small mistake. i was asked to turn right on the 4 way intersection and since there was a red light i knew i had to stop, look around, then make a right turn when possible. as i stopped and looked around, there was a car pretty far away to the left, so i felt like it was a safe enough distance to make my right turn but i guess that car was flying down the road where as i was turning right my instructor told me to stop and let the car pass. stupid car almost failed me! but thank God that she just continued on the test because that was only like 5 minutes into the test. we got back and she said i passed and all the stress and pressure just came right off me. it was a great day!

that day when i got my license, for the first time i drove to my gym alone. i was feeling great! i felt so calm mentally, and relaxed as i was driving instead of feeling always tense before. it felt like none of my driving “skills” increased, but just mentally being ready and confident now that i have my license made me feel great! now i cant wait to get more experience behind the wheel to go pretty much anywhere!

summer 2012 update

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 02:00:44 -0400

so its been about a month or so since ive last written anything, heres a quick catch up. i got back to ontario ca around may 28th and since then its been pretty great. my aunts family who just came from malaysia (mission) decided to stay here at my grandparents to check out the life in america. my 2 little cousins already went to school for about 2 months and seemed to like it there. they were learning english mostly but they were picking it up at a good pace. its nice seeing family that you havent seen in forever and getting to live with them during this summer because you never know what might happen and when you can see them again. isaac loves playing soccer and constantly wants me to play soccer with him along with basketball. esther loves making things like bracelets and stuffed toys. shes pretty talented id say and i even asked her to make me a bracelet haha. its crazy how fast theyre growing, last time i saw them they were little kids in elementary school!

as soon as i got back i signed myself up for my good old 24 super sport gym in archibald st. i love that place! perfect place to get back into shape and improve on my weights. im already getting better though, so hopefully i stay consistent and improve.

mike caroleo stayed with me for a month this summer! it was so good! i just had a great time getting to know him better and having a good time chilling with him. we worked out together which was great, having a gym partner always helps, and we drove around la a lot, showing him around a bit and getting him familiarized with the place, went to a dodgers game for the first time in my life! that was awesome except the fact that we lost to mikes mets. its ok we were injured anyways haha. it was cool showing him my church because he got to meet with my youth pastor james who took us out to one of the best korean bbq restaurant ever! it was so good! like their meat trays were so perfectly organized and decorated, it was amazing, and high quality meat too! just tastes different! got to hangout around the house a lot too on days we were too tired or lazy to do much. started watching a show called “the community” became my favorite show on tv right now. so hilarious and smart and has my future wife in annie in it. haha. but ya, overall it was a great time having mike around eating korean food and learning a little bit about korea. but now he lives like an hour and a half away from me, :(

another crazy thing is that weve been having some issues with our neighbors that rent the guesthouse we have in our backyard. supposedly my grandparents and my aunts family have been constantly arguing and always getting mad at each other. obviously i dont know exactly what caused it and whos telling me the truth and whos lying, but i kind of became the peace maker between the 2 sides. although i want to just side with my family i guess my brain is telling me to be reasonable and fair. but as the first month went on, im growing pretty convinced that our neighbors are just not fulfilling their role as renters and theyre trying to find a way to stay at the house longer even though they need to move out by the end of july…still praying for a peaceful ending to this bad drama. to me theyre fine, but obviously things need to change or else my grandma might just go bananas at them.

ive been trying to stay in touch with most of the people i want to stay in touch with. even though some people are definitely busy. ive also missed a few weddings i wish i could have gone to. o well, i guess you cant do everything at my stage in life. im pretty excited to hangout with my good old la friends soon though! havent seen them in a year so hopefully well pick things right back from where we left them.

summer 2012 goals!

Thu, 24 May 2012 06:31:36 -0400

man im finally done with my 2011-2012 year in greenville! its been a crazy up and down year full of great memories, fun times, and some minor drama. but all is good now and im ready for the summer to begin! i just wanted to make a list of things i want to do while im in california this summer.

first and formost i want to start exercising again! its been way too long since ive worked out consistently. the last month ive gone to work out about 2-3 times. thats terrible! its been such a weird year with lots of school work, social stuff, and work work. most of it was because i felt lazy a lot so i didnt go. but this summer just like last summer im planning on going to a consistent tough workout back in the good old 24 hour fitness super! o how i love that place! and my buddy mike will be staying with me this june so he’ll be my workout partner! its going to be great! and i hope i regain my shape and also improve on my weights by the end of the summer.

i definitely want to catch up with all my california friends, at least i hope i can. with everybody’s busy schedules im sure its going to be difficult but i hope somehow things will work out. i miss a lot of them i want to see them so badly!

i need to get my drivers license finally! i still have my permit from last summer and its valid for a year so i will have enough time to practice driving again and hopefully pass my drivers test. then i will accomplish one big milestone in my life, haha.

i will be taking 2 summer classes online so hopefully ill be focused enough to do them well and since online classes are usually pretty easy i hope i can smoothly finish them. that will definitely make my load a lot lighter for next year.

crazy conceptions

Wed, 23 May 2012 00:27:00 -0400

i seriously have a hard time but also a very clear understanding why in our world today, people who are still virgins are hard to imagine. with the way sex has exploded and more advertised its almost a must to lose your virginity by the time your in college at least. so today i was looking at my yahoo news and saw that they made a news article about a olympian hurdler who admitted shes a virgin and how hard that was compared to her training for the olympics. thats kind of ridiculous how such a simple and pure thing could make headlines because its so uncommon for a popular sports figure to be a virgin these days. right on lolo jones, right on! you’ll find your man and you’ll have the best time knowing you were saving it all up for him!

enough is enough

Mon, 07 May 2012 21:19:43 -0400

i feel like sometimes being the nice guy all the time doesnt work. its your identity but sometimes others view it as something they can take advantage of. sometimes taking blow after blow is really annoying and pisses you off too much to the point where you wish you had some kind of a solution. for me i always want to look for a peaceful solution but that can only go so far with some people. some people are just too stubborn to understand through niceness. as my favorite laker said once to his peer, “I’d smack the **** out of somebody.” that quote seems kind of violent at first glance but if youre put in a situation where people constantly push you down and dont seem like theyre stopping at anytime, this quote almost inspires you in a way. sometimes you got to assert yourself and remind people around you to not be idiots and mistreat you all the time. talk behind your back or say negative things to put you down. you got to show them that there will be consequences if such actions are constantly repeated. yes we need to stay as cool as possible most of the time but when the situation gets out of hand then a little reminder/statement always helps.

school school stress stress

Thu, 03 May 2012 07:36:10 -0400

its been a while again but i guess thats why im writing this, ive been so busy with school work recently that i hardly had time to do much in the past 2 weeks! i wish i had more time to do fun things during the day, but instead all i have these days is night time to do the things i couldnt do during the day. been staying up recently and just trying to get the fun things that i want to do out of the way and have the day to do productive things. which would result in it being either successful or a failure due to lack of sleep.

well most recently, yesterday was almost perfect in the sense of how much i was able to do and how in the most part things were pretty good all around. i was able to get alot of work done with my partner robyn on the business presentation that we have due today and that felt really productive and i was able to get some other homework done by the end of the day. then we had the housing lottery which resulted in us winning the mannoia pod that we really wanted. so im glad that is settled and i get to room with people that i actually chose this time instead of taking the risk of being randomly put into a room with someone hoping to make a new friend. then i had a pretty good talk about alot of things with ryan which was encouraging. always good to have a good talk like that and i can wait to room with the guy next year, should be a blast!

other than that life is going pretty steady. been chilling with some good old friends that i didnt have time to hangout in a while even though im still really busy with school and everything. sometimes you just got to make time in your busy schedule to have those memories with your friends before my college years are over. anyways pretty good/busy week and i cant wait for this weekend to cool off!

my first wedding ever!

Tue, 24 Apr 2012 08:31:37 -0400

so my first full length wedding (that i was also part of the wedding party) was seans and meaghans wedding on april 21. it was simply amazing. i feel like i learned so many things about weddings in general and also had a lot of fun in the process. i had no idea how much it took to plan a wedding and all the crazy busy things involved. like dressing everyone according to the brides colors or all the hotel reservations, or the food for all the guests, or the photographs for the wedding. its crazy! i cant imagine myself planning for my wedding someday. but being part of the wedding party was definitely memorable and very fun. just being part of a couples most memorable day was awesome enough but to have old good friends to hang out with or fun things like fancy dinners and photo shoots definitely make it much better.

so as soon as i get there we go to the suit rental place where we got to fit our suits and shoes etc. it was pretty neat because the lady was helping us out with everything so i almost felt like a celebrity getting dressed for a big event. the shirt/suit/pants/tie/shoes were so nice and felt so smooth, it was awesome! and we looked so fly! then we went to the church to practice the wedding. it was pretty simple for me, being an usher. although i had to help out by pretending to be the best man because he was late because of a flight delay. it was pretty interesting practicing the wedding. then we went to the hotel we were staying at and had a nice fancy dinner at a v.i.p. room. it was pretty neat how sean set all this up for all his family and friends. then we went to a local pub to play some pool and hang out like the good old times.

the next day, we woke up early, had a great hotel breakfast, and headed out to the church. we got dressed up (looking good!) and were taking many pictures as a group and with the groom. we also ate a little while we were waiting for the wedding to start. then me and the other usher (dan) started ushering people into the chapel and it was pretty cool how it almost felt like i was stealing the mens dates because i was asked to escort the ladies only, while the men trailed along behind us. after everyone was seated and some of the greenville friends showed up, we started the wedding. it was super long because it was a catholic one but still really good. after that the reception took place and that was a nice chill out moment for all of us. then we took the suv limo to go out into the city and start taking pictures of the newlyweds and us. it was a ton of pictures ha ha, it was awesome though. then we arrived to the after party where all the wedding guests came to have dinner and celebrate the cake cutting and dancing of the newlyweds. it was a great time. then i had to leave early because scott was there and he was my perfect ride back to greenville so i left afterwards.

this was a fun memory in my life and i hope i can experience more in the future. next up is jerry and christys on may!

again, interfering at the right time...

Mon, 16 Apr 2012 22:34:17 -0400

God is so funny sometimes, when things look down and you just want to do something out of anger or emotion, something not necessarily good, like get into a fight or just be mean to everyone around you, he somehow in the past month or so always intervened and prevented me from acting out and being stupid. like if i was mad at someone, he would make me read a bible chapter that was talking about quelling my anger or when i was too stressed out, he would send someone to talk to me, so i can vent a little. theres been a lot of little things that have been bothering me lately, mostly school but a decent amount coming from people in my school. i even had a night where i was pretty much out looking for trouble, but i guess were always covered by God’s grace even in tough times. i love people who God places in my life to help me through difficult times and i really appreciate it. :)

backing up what you say

Sun, 08 Apr 2012 02:12:31 -0400

recently a lot of people especially my roommate have been annoying me with their lack of actions behind their words. i have no respect for those people who say one thing but act differently and say theyre going to do something but when things turn hard, they back out. really? if you say youre going to clean up the room then do it, that moment before you become busy with other things. dont put it off till later when all youre doing at the current time is either playing video games or hanging out with your friends.

i mean im not the most perfect example myself but when people constantly do the same thing over and over again, it gets on your nerves when you notice it every single time! grow up, do what you said youre going to do and dont complain when people dont trust you or treat you a little negatively when you ask them to do something. im sick and tired of this stupid mentality that some people have, its just called laziness and you being a spoiled brat trying to get away with things that you should be doing.

crazy young...

Thu, 05 Apr 2012 15:52:59 -0400

i never thought id see the day when someone my age would not last to see at least 30. its just super sad and i cant express how much pain and turmoil im dealing with inside. besides the fact that we werent the closest of friends but good enough to call each other friends, the fact that someone so freaking young, with so much yet to do in life could be taken away so harshly, so unfairly almost. its no accident, its no unfortunate event of being at a wrong place at the wrong time. it was just something that cannot be helped or necessarily controlled by people around her. i just cant help but to feel so so sad about what has happened. i seriously have a hard time dealing with death in general considering this is only the 3rd time ive had someone i know die in my life and the 1st of my friends my age die is devastating. i just wish i knew how to deal with death better than i think i am. sometimes i just cant help but wonder, what was the point in that God? but i know he always has a plan for people and if that was his plan to take her away so quickly then there must be some kind of reason. i got to be strong and just pray that everything passes well.

its just one of my biggest weaknesses in my walk with Christ. dealing with death and just the idea of death scares me. its so mysterious, strange, and scary. i just cant see myself be brave in a situation that has to do with death. and it scares me so much that if just the death of someone i just considered a regular friend dies, how will the death of someone closer in my life dies? i would completely flip out! i hope that God can make me strong for when the time comes where i have to hear the super sad news of my close friends or family dying and its just so crazy to think about but thats one my lifes struggles to come to grips with.

May you rest in peace Natalie and i will always remember your bright smile and your blunt personality that i appreciated.

normal saturday

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 02:03:56 -0400

now that im trying to update this “diary” thing more consistently time for the daily zap (nba reference lol).

so today i woke up very tired! it was because last night i took a sleeping pill for the first time in my life! i just found myself recently having a hard time falling asleep so i decided it might be a good idea to get some help haha. anyways it kind of worked seeing that i wasnt knocked out maybe like 5 minutes after i took the pill (which is what i was hoping/expecting) but it sort of did the job. i got up went to brunch with the pod people and i then goofed around a little and took a short nap. later that day i did some laundry and other random chores around the room and then i sat down to come up with a “new game” for my new games class that i just started this past week. its a pretty fun class i think and its only gonna get funner. playing those silly games is pretty fun especially when you know more than half the class of like 30+ people. then after i got done i went to play some ping pong with jonathan simon stephy and craig. i actually didnt expect craig to be there since he hasnt played in over a year and a half, but i was glad he randomly showed up and played us. i had a pretty good run, including playing craig, its been so long! after that we just hung out a little bit more and now im about to go to bed to wake up early in the morning to go to church. i cant wait, im going to the korean church in st. louis tomorrow, its gonna be so awesome!

appreciation to everyone

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 22:36:33 -0400

today i just wanna say how many great people i have in my life! you always expect people to be there, especially if theyre youre close friends that you always count on. and sometimes you find yourself not appreciating them enough for being there for you and helping you out during hard times and i know for me i sometimes forget about all the things theyve done for me. i wish i could show just how much i appreciate them for being friends with me but right now i can only offer words and i hope its enough for now.

its amazing but for me one of the most important things that my closest friends do for me, whether theyre close or far from me, is that they always provide me with the right mind about things in my life. they help me stay positive and never feel alone in the world. even if im struggling with something and i dont talk to them i always can tell myself that theyre out there, wishing me the best, and that always seems to put my mind at rest. whenever im struggling with finding new friends in a new environment, even if i dont find any that day, i always know im supported and loved by my friends from all over the world. if i feel like the world is against me for some reason, i always tell myself that even if i feel like the world is against me, there are those close friends in that world that love and support me so i should just keep going strong. if i feel like my relationship with God is hurting because ive been going through a rough time, i always can tell myself that my friends went through that and theyre praying for me so that i can get back on track with that. and its great! just having those kinds of friends is so helpful and makes my day easier and helps me not have any unnecessary stress levels. i would have way too much stress in my life if i didnt live like that.

i remember last year when i was in california with my grandparents and one youth group on friday, james (my youth pastor) gave each of us lists of things that could be going on in our lives or things that could have happened to us recently, and depending on how many things from that list happened to us, it determined our supposed stress level. and i was tied with someone else as the highest stress level person. but thank goodness that i have God in my life and all my supportive friends that He has provided me to help me reduce that stress level to just normal levels.

so to all my wonderful/supportive/loving/faithful friends from Ukraine, Europe, Asia, and America thank you for everything and i continue to rely on your love and support to go through my daily life better and better. :)

my actions and the body of Christ...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 21:18:02 -0400

the other day in bible class i learned about the idea of how our individual actions effect the other people in the body of Christ. so basically how my actions effect someone that has nothing to do with what i do but as long as they believe that Christ is their Savior and they give their lives to him it will somehow effect them. i dont exactly know how or how it effects me as a result but it was an interesting idea and something that i want to take seriously. say if i had been talking negatively about someone because they made me mad somehow, how does that effect someone whos a christian whos somewhere in another country? someone who has nothing to do with my action but because theyre christian they belong to the body of Christ that im part of, therefore theyre effected by my negative actions. sure theres the positive side of all glory is for God, but what about the negative/bad things we do, the sinful things that we do daily, and how does that effect us as a community? as the body of Christ, how does my negative action effect them?

i dont think it would be a positive effect by no means, so its probably a negative one, but if the person who i dont even know who lives in say…africa, how does that effect them? maybe some of my quick thoughts about it would be, id be just another statistic about how the greenville students are. or if i was cussing at someone then i would be a stat of how many students cuss? i dont know exactly but i feel like thats the first and the most logical way i can effect them. i feel like if theres a spiritual connection, like a big room where all members of the body of Christ can go to, and if their actions were like bringing some kind of a gift to the community, by doing good actions, you bring something that everybody likes and would enjoy, like a good meal or an xbox so that everybody can have fun playing games haha. but if you do something negative thats like bringing the community a bad gift, something that no one needs or would enjoy. something like if you give a pink dress to a professional wrestler for their birthday. something that doesnt make any sense or something they have no use for.

thats the most sensible way i understand this new concept i learned from class. and i hope that each day i can improve and bring better gifts to my brothers and sisters in Christ.

everything up to 3/25/12

Sun, 25 Mar 2012 13:10:08 -0400

man its been a while hasnt it? i guess i was so busy with everything that was going on that i kind of forgot about tumblr and keeping a diary sort of thing going on. well for the most part everything has been going pretty normally, nothing too out of the ordinary, school is tough and the workload is overwhelming sometimes but thats the college life i guess. working long hours (kind of) doesnt help much either, but at least im getting paid decently sort of. last week was spring break which was such a good stress reliever for me even though there were some crappy things going on during spring break but overall it was a nice relaxing week. i bought two new games, the new naruto generations game and elder scrolls: skryrim. theyre awesome, naruto for being naruto but skyrim was just simply amazing. probably the best game ive ever played and the most addicting game ever. basically simply put its like warcraft but its a single player game and on xbox instead of a pc.

life has been pretty good, hanging out with the same old pod crew and some other good friends once in a while, just trying to find the right balance between everything. today was really cool because yesterday was laura and brads wedding so a bunch of old alumni came back and today we hung out and played frisbee which was awesome playing with those guys again. so much good now i gotta be productive by trying to finish some hw and getting ready to do well this coming week!